How can is Survive?

It's been 1 month and 2 days..and i can still feel the pain. At first i said to myself that i can easily forget it, i can live my life like what i did before, i thought it was not hard as it was but now i feel like dying every single day. i consider myself like living dead person. I don't feel anything just PAIN. Every time that i remember everything i can't stop myself crying. I tried everything to make myself busy and not to think of it it still in the end of the day i end up crying. Every night i pray to the god and asked him what is the real purpose of these? Is this is worth fighting for? sometimes i questioned him for giving me trial like this. I don't want to be mad  its just i felt so weak and i don't know if i can still stand it. I'm wishing everyday that this has an ending. Part of me was on him and i'm still hoping one day it might change everything.